DJ Etiquette

[hayze99]

Right, something happened last night which I'm not so sure about.

Got asked a couple weeks ago by a really cute girl if I could DJ at her house party. Said ait. DJ'ed at my resident place for 3 hours until 3 am. Chilled out for a bit, and headed to the party with some of my buddies. Got there, and people were super receptive. In Spain it's all minimal, so everyone was thrilled to have some D&B. They were all trying to throw me on, but the DJ who was playing had spent hours setting EVERYTHING up, so not to be rude, I waited around for a bit, drinking and smoking. At 5, the girl came and got me on, so I dismantled all this guys equipment, set up serato and everything, and got to work. About 2 tracks in, the police arrive, so I get a nod and turn the music down.

The brother then tells me to turn it down even more, so I tell him I'm not going to DJ with the volume so low and commotion going on, since there's no point. About 5 minutes later, the girl comes and tells me to turn it back up, that the police have left and everything's cool. I start up again. The brother then tells me to turn it down again. This happens a couple more times, at which point I leave the decks, grab a beer, and tell them to call me when I can play properly and not get disrupted.

I wait around for the police to leave. They finally leave, so I check everything is alright, and get back on. I play about 2 more tracks, when AGAIN, the brother walks up and grabs the master knob and turns it down. Then starts fiddling with the bass. It was his house and his equipment, so I didn't really feel comfortable telling him to fuck off. I ask him politely to leave, and about 2 minutes later he comes back again and starts again.

At this point, I just grabbed all my shit, told my mate's to get ready, and stormed out. I apologized to the girl, who was crying at this point "because it's her birthday, and she hates minimal", but just said that I'm not prepared to deal with all this shit, especially when I'm not being paid in any form whatsoever (I came under the impression that I was going to get a little bit of money or equivalent).

Was I too impatient? It wasn't really their fault that the police came, but they were just handling it like shit. Thing is, they were a really nice supportive group of cool people, who always come and rave when I'm playing, and I need all the fans I can get, so I feel kind of bad, but just hate to feel like I'm getting fucked around.

tl;dr: owners made me start and stop about 5 times in an hour, I stormed out and told them all to fuck off.

[nitz]

Nope, i probably would have blown my fuse after the 2nd time his bro came over. No worries !

[Basic A]

Sounds like the last night my boy played at... cops came in while he was setting up and pulled it... at least it wasnt an organizer though, your right, there a little harder to tell to gtfo.

honestly man I cant say you were wrong but I cant say you were right either. In that situation it seems like you might have been best to just step off the decks and leave a mix playing or ect. I can understand getting annoyed but also you have to see how throwing one in public could have an impact on any status you have amongst that group of party goers. If youd have stepped down, let the organizer level out a mixtape to suitable decibels, and then mingled in the crowd, you could have easily been asking people if they caught you set, handing out demos, and appologizing that you had to cut it short, but promising a longer one next time.

One question though...

By minimal do you minimal tech or by minimal do you mean minimal as a broad musical term?

[bl0rg]

that's a buzzkill man.

although it was his equipment i sure as hell wouldn't let him touch any knobs lol.

[hasezwei]

poor girl, that certainly ruined her night i guess... if i were you i'd play again some other day maybe at a safer location (without paranoid jerks owning the place) and invite her and her friends over, im sure yall gonna have a great time. plus you could get some new fans that way!

[staticcast]

Totally feel your pain, but if it's the girl's birthday party (and particularly if she was the one who asked you to play - ie your point of contact) then maybe it might've been an idea to talk to her about what was going on before packing up. It's basically all scaled according to how nice you wanna be - I think you'd be within your rights to be pissed off about the situation, but with that in mind, you've got the choice to do anything in between saying "fuck this" and leaving, or swallowing a certain amount of pride and calmly explaining to the girl that her brother keeps making you turn it down and that there's no point in you trying to DJ properly if the music is at sub-conversational volumes. If it were me...... if it were a friend of mine (or someone I got on with/liked/generally thought was pretty safe) I'd have done the latter. If it were some random house party that some random had asked me to play at, I'd have just cut my losses and walked off.

If there's one thing I've learned about playing house parties, it's that in most cases it's simply not worth caring too much. If someone's actually being a douchebag - giving you shit or spilling drinks on the decks or telling you you're a cock - then sure, but if it's anything to do with noise levels, police, running order, whatever... IMHO when it comes to minor DJing disputes at a house party, the ratio between risk factor of coming across like a dickhead, and potential benefit factor of arguing or putting up a fight, is too high to warrant any course of action other than smiling, shrugging your shoulders and saying "whatever".

[Mad_EP]

I love playing house parties... but I rarely do them anymore cos they are too much hassle.

Basically - you were probably overly patient for the length of time you stayed, but a bit dramatic on your exit. It all could have been solved by the one strict rule I always insisted on for house parties (usually for clubs too - but they are more complicated).

The rule is this - I will only answer to one person in terms of levels, length of set, style, whatever other gripes might come up... etc etc. I won't go between Person A telling me one thing, Person B telling me another and so on. However many organizers are involved need to work their shit out between themselves, and then have that one person come to me for any adjustments that need to be made. However, the key is - I make this clear BEFORE I accept the gig. It is a condition for me to play the house party - otherwise, I just won't do it.

Simple & done.

[Sharmaji]

after the second time:

"sorry i can't play babe, it's definitely this dude's situation and i don't want to step on his toes. Happy birthday though. hey, why don't you give me your # and we can hang out and talk music sometime?"

[deadly_habit]

after the second time:

"sorry i can't play babe, it's definitely this dude's situation and i don't want to step on his toes. Happy birthday though. hey, why don't you give me your # and we can hang out and talk music sometime?"

instead of having a hissy fit and storming off like a diva

[Mad_EP]

after the second time:

"sorry i can't play babe, it's definitely this dude's situation and i don't want to step on his toes. Happy birthday though. hey, why don't you give me your # and we can hang out and talk music sometime?"

^^^
hahahah... ie: "Sorry sweetheart, seems your brother is ruining your birthday... wanna make him REALLY mad?"

[Phigure]

after the second time:

"sorry i can't play babe, it's definitely this dude's situation and i don't want to step on his toes. Happy birthday though. hey, why don't you give me your # and we can hang out and talk music sometime?"

instead of having a hissy fit and storming off like a diva

off topic, but fyi you're 2 posts away from 10k

grats!

[hayze99]

It was minimal tech.

And when I say stormed off, I just mean that I left right bang in the middle of a set. I didn't jump up on the table and piss all over the audience. Conversation with owner: "Dude, I can't keep doing this, if you're not going to let me play then I need to go home", "Man, you know it's complicated", "Well, what the fuck do you want me to do!?". I then gathered my stuff up, apologized to everyone outside for not playing, had a long apologetic talk with the girl - she told me I was the only person actually not acting like a dick at her party - gave her a hug, told em to come visit again at my resident place and left.

The thing is, I could have stepped in to the DJ's who were pressuring her, and the brother, but I just had no right to whatsoever.

[legend4ry]

Meh, I would of just left and not cared. If people want a service from me and won't let me supply that, then I go home and not work with them again, friend or not. I'm to old for drama like that..

[nowaysj]

The police came back a second time? Show is over as far as I'm concerned.

[archer]

after the second time:

"sorry i can't play babe, it's definitely this dude's situation and i don't want to step on his toes. Happy birthday though. hey, why don't you give me your # and we can hang out and talk music sometime?"

instead of having a hissy fit and storming off like a diva
just doing my job, another day in the life of superhero dj

[AxeD]

Yea that's tough. The brother sounds like a douche btw, he was all in yo face fiddling with yo bass. People should not touch the gear when someone else is on.

[th@-pu$$y]

Nothing a quiet yet swift kick to the balls couldn't have properly handled

[Frodo Bassbins]

tldr made me lol. think you handled it fine tbh.

[JFK]

Nothing a quiet yet swift kick to the balls couldn't have properly handled

"A quiet, yet swift, kick to the balls" You mean as opposed to "A loud, yet slow, kick to the balls?"

th@-pu$$y just made coffee come out of my nose. I love you man.

[globalbabylon]

Guy sounds like a prick, probably just being a hater because your music was better received.