Kaiori Breathe - Afterglow

[kaiori breathe]

Soundcloud

This one's a bit different, jazzy vibes, with a big hip hop influence on the melodies and groovy 2-step influenced half time drums at 170 bpm. This one's a song to have a smoke in a dark room to.

[brumak]

The melody is just AMAZING, got a really really good vibe from it. Big up man, huge track

[kaiori breathe]

bump

[c-zar]

I didn't listen to the whole thing but you kinda got a generic richard d. james vibe.

[kaiori breathe]

I didn't listen to the whole thing but you kinda got a generic richard d. james vibe.

It's unfortunate you feel that way, sorry you didn't like the tune.

[c-zar]

i didnt say i didn't like it. I said it sounds like you are joking aphex twin. the beat is straight but I just see room for improvement. One sec, ima listen to the whole thing.

[c-zar]

the electric piano is too thin. You talk about me using to music detune (it was actually a one shot with no efx), you could use more). Kick needs moe distortion. But your biggest problem in this song is the lack of progression. I like the basic instrumentation but simply put, its missing something. The whole thing sounds like a 16 bar loop. Nothing holds me. It could be better but I actually see what you where doing. I thought after 15 years of music creation people could see my vision and share it. Everybody can t. But I am open minded enough to see the beuty in most music.

[kaiori breathe]

the electric piano is too thin. You talk about me using to music detune (it was actually a one shot with no efx), you could use more). Kick needs moe distortion. But your biggest problem in this song is the lack of progression. I like the basic instrumentation but simply put, its missing something. The whole thing sounds like a 16 bar loop. Nothing holds me. It could be better but I actually see what you where doing. I thought after 15 years of music creation people could see my vision and share it. Everybody can t. But I am open minded enough to see the beuty in most music.

I appreciate the criticism and the time you took listening to this piece. When I recieve negative crit I like everyone else have two choices, I can either take it on board or stick by what I've done, it's rare that I do the second, but this time I feel I'd be doing the track a disservice if I took your advice on board, I felt I should explain why I'm not taking it on board so you understand I'm not just ignoring your input or brushing it off due to the attitude you've displayed in other threads. Sorry the tune wasn't up to your standard and thanks for the input. The following is an explanation of why I won't be taking your crit on board

The piano is thin as I wanted it. A musical juxtaposition. The melody line is meant to be subdued, it's a strong melody line which I why I wanted it to be played by something that sound weak, hence the 70s distorted rhodes with an LFO to give it that wavering sound. The kick is again as I wanted it to be. The progression is sound in my opinion, the piece is minimalist, like most of my work, it's more about the different parts influencing the sound of each other, each instruments harmonic content influencing the others, structure, and symmetry.

Here's the song laid out, with progressive points marked with an ***

16 bar intro melody.
***16 bars melody with double bass, ***double bass changes up on the last 4 bars of the 16.

Main Theme:
16 bar melody with double bass (still featuring that change up) - ***pads are introduced to give the melody more colour (D, G Maj6, Cm 2nd inversion), the bass adds to the colour of both the melody and the chords, ***as are drums X2 (the x2 might be seen as a lack of 'progression' although here i was more concerned with establishing than progressing, it is my main theme after all)
8 bar melody with double bass (still featuring that change up) pads, and drums,
8 bar melody with double bass (still featuring that change up) and drums,***the pads are dropped, melody and bass lose colour that was added, structurally important that the change happen here
***16 bar break down, new chords create tension, new bass notes, new melody, new drums, it's all about tension and release X2 (less than 2 repetitions would make this section feel alien and make it seem like it doesn't belong, it needs to be established)

Main Theme Repeat
***16 bar melody with double bass (still featuring that change up) pads, ***this time no drums,
16 bar melody with double bass (still featuring that change up) pads, ***drums brought back in
16 bar melody with double bass (still featuring that change up) and drums, ***half way through the pads are dropped
***16 bar break down, new chords create tension, new bass notes, new melody, new drums, it's all about tension and release x2 (establishing)
***The outro a reverse of the intro.

Personally I think there's more than enough movement and changes in there for me to say the progression is solid, just because the themes aren't changing doesn't mean it's not progressing. As I said the piece is minimalist, it's about building up via layers and establishing, then winding down via deconstruction, it's more about the different parts influencing the sound of each other, each instrument's harmonic content influencing the others, structure, and symmetry. The song is also a mirror image of itself, the second half is about slowly winding down, not progressing.

I appreciate the criticism and the time you took listening to this piece, but I can't say I agree with you as I feel your ideas, thickening the piano, progressing in a different way, wouldn't sit well with the style or the ideas that fuel the track.

[c-zar]

cool but safe to say, this is not up to par with what I listen to. check out brainfeeder.

[c-zar]

in addition, i have a pretty good mix....reference "jubilee" on my soundcloud.

[kaiori breathe]

cool but safe to say, this is not up to par with what I listen to. check out brainfeeder.

If brainfeeder is an example of what you listen to then I'm glad to not be 'up to par' with it. If being 'up to par' with what you listen to means sounding anything even remotely like that then I don't want it.

in addition, i have a pretty good mix....reference "jubilee" on my soundcloud.

Good for you, how about you make a new thread for it instead of spamming mine for views? Oh and stop double posting, there's an edit button for a reason.

[drokkr]

I like this... great mood to it. Definitely has a glow to it