Ghost Robot - The Shogun Assassin (demo, feedback request)

[Ghost and Machine]

Here's a work in progress I've put on the back burner until I get some feedback.
It's a re-work of the Shogun Assassin theme music,
The original is basically a one-note-at-a-time bass line which I developed into a much large arrangement.
I used samples to strengthen the monologue/story (sword fights, heartbeats, storms, crickets etcetc),
using tempo (half/double time) to propel the story to the final section.

I think some of the bass notes are a bit nasaly/high, probably too much consistent sub, some of the vocals have to come out further.

There's so much content in there, but i'm not sold on the clarity/mix etc,
so any advice would be very welcome/appreciated.

I think this could be a great track to put in the resume (it wont be released because of the copyright issues),
but it's just lacking the sound design to push it further.

http://soundcloud.com/ghost-robot/the-shogun-demo