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This a real question. I was on them before and I kinda remember being quite numb. I have since quit them. I quit cold turkey which I do NOT recommend. It was horrible and hard and painful, and nearly very tragic. Anyway, lately I have found myself completely un-motivated and un-able to do much creatively. I am definitely depressed a lot of the time and I know for sure that I should probably be on medication. Sometimes the depression(and random thoughts) are pretty intense and I feel like I'm trapped and can't do ANYTHING. Completely un-motivated and un-able to focus on anything, let alone music an other creative endeavors.

I've read that anti-depressants can greatly affect ones creative output but obviously health should come before that, right? But honestly, music is the one thing I enjoy and it keeps me sane in many ways and the thought of me being un-motivated to do it is kinda terrifying. I'll probably get back on meds but I was wondering if anyone has been thru this. I'm not a (total) psycho, I just have depression issues.

I'm not asking for medical advice on an internet forum. I', simply wondering what your experience is in this matter.

Never really affected my creativity but i was much more satisfied with my music when I was off. Just my experience, if you need em take em

I only took citalopram briefly, so I can't say with too much confidence, but I didn't experience that, no.

The main negative thing for me was this constant subtle nausea but I hear that goes away after the first month or so. I couldn't be arsed to stick with it for that long, but it wasn't so bad, all in all.

The more depressed I am, the better my music is, but the problem is during that period I DONT EVER FEEL LIKE MAKING MUSIC…

Irony. Paradox. Whatever.

If I do manage, its some dark sh*t, but its Good.

You need to take just enough meds to be “productive” but not enough that they kill your “feelings”… if they level you out the point you just sit & stare with no emotions at all, I doubt you’ll do anything creative.

ketamine wrote:The more depressed I am, the better my music is, but the problem is during that period I DONT EVER FEEL LIKE MAKING MUSIC…

Irony. Paradox. Whatever.

If I do manage, its some dark sh*t, but its Good.

You need to take just enough meds to be “productive” but not enough that they kill your “feelings”… if they level you out the point you just sit & stare with no emotions at all, I doubt you’ll do anything creative.

DUDE!! This is so right on! This is how I feel. It's like the dark and terrible feelings are what causes me to make great art. When I was young it was spontaneous but now the motivation is just not there at all. Don't get me wrong,I have some manic days(or weeks ) where I'll bang out all kinds of awesome shit but it's only these little bursts. I wish it were more consistent.

i would stay as far away from anti-depressants for a multitude of reasons besides its affect on creativity. i took anti-depressants for a month, and after feeling completely cracked out and numb, i stopped taking them. my sex drive didn't return to what i considered normal for almost a whole year. it affects people differently, but from my own personal experience and many others i have talked to, its not really any kind of solution to helping depression, unless you are taking them for a different reason.. hell, i know women who take them during their menses because it helps stabilize their moods during that time. anyway. if its depression, there's tons of other things you can do which will make your creativity stay intact. for instance, exercise. i can't stress enough what a difference the stuff does.

im pretty sure they make you emotionally numb, which is horrible for creativity.
so yea, dont take them. besides te fact that you should attain happiness naturally rather than just taking a pill and making you numb

Fuck anti-depressants, thats all I have to say on the matter, anti-depressants turned my ex into a comepletely different person and her behaviour became WAY more erratic to the point she actually used to scare me sometimes, thats why when my doctor tried to put me on anti-depressants I told her to fuck right off (though more politely worded than that) because I didn't want to do the same to myself

quitting cold turkey is a crazy, crazy experience.

they pretty much hold you back to the point where you're just "doin alright", so that would probably affect your creative output.

I'm exactly the same, OP. In my down states I have some of the best ideas but completely lack motivation to do anything, and sadly that's generally the nature of depression.
Medication in one way can take the edge off the suicidal thoughts/paranoia/whatever - which is a blessing, but it will most likely fling you in the complete opposite direction and make you completely numb. It's a battle as to which you'd rather feel.

I asked my doctor if there was anything I could take that would stop the suicidal thoughts etc, which wouldn't numb me completely or send me to sleep - basically I was asking for a miracle. In short the answer was no.
I was told that with these types of medication there will almost always be a side effect, you just have to weigh up the pros and cons.

I'm not saying don't take medication though. If you can carry on without them, do. If you need them, take them. The best medication is to get yourself out there, as hard as it is sometimes, and surrounded yourself with friends and music - doing those has got me further than any tablet ever did, and will most likely give you more inspiration for your chosen art.

I personally refuse to take any more medication; while the complete lack of motivation can be there (even with the most brilliant ideas in your head) it's something I've just had to accept will always be.

BNanni wrote:I'm exactly the same, OP. In my down states I have some of the best ideas but completely lack motivation to do anything, and sadly that's generally the nature of depression.
Medication in one way can take the edge off the suicidal thoughts/paranoia/whatever - which is a blessing, but it will most likely fling you in the complete opposite direction and make you completely numb. It's a battle as to which you'd rather feel.

I asked my doctor if there was anything I could take that would stop the suicidal thoughts etc, which wouldn't numb me completely or send me to sleep - basically I was asking for a miracle. In short the answer was no.
I was told that with these types of medication there will almost always be a side effect, you just have to weigh up the pros and cons.

I'm not saying don't take medication though. If you can carry on without them, do. If you need them, take them. The best medication is to get yourself out there, as hard as it is sometimes, and surrounded yourself with friends and music - doing those has got me further than any tablet ever did, and will most likely give you more inspiration for your chosen art.

I personally refuse to take any more medication; while the complete lack of motivation can be there (even with the most brilliant ideas in your head) it's something I've just had to accept will always be.

Hit the nail on the head there, out to the depression crew

particle-jim wrote:Fuck anti-depressants, thats all I have to say on the matter, anti-depressants turned my ex into a comepletely different person and her behaviour became WAY more erratic to the point she actually used to scare me sometimes, thats why when my doctor tried to put me on anti-depressants I told her to fuck right off (though more politely worded than that) because I didn't want to do the same to myself

Exactly what happened to me too

BNanni wrote:Medication in one way can take the edge off the suicidal thoughts/paranoia/whatever - which is a blessing, but it will most likely fling you in the complete opposite direction and make you completely numb. It's a battle as to which you'd rather feel.

Must be nice to have that option.

Not really. I find, personally, that there are two types of numb. Depression numb and medded-up-to-your-eyeballs numb. Both are as awful as each other.
Depression is a bitch that very few ever get true control over. While I'm at my happiest for years, I know that it's not the end of the story.

Briony's said all that needs to be said really.

I had a similar experience to Jim with a girlfriend going onto anti-depressants... she didn't get erratic, as such, but she was numbed to such an extent that she was happy to sit inside all day staring at the fucking wall whereas she previously would've been manically running around singing and dancing for everyone... her creativity hadn't gone necessarily, but her life force had fucking vanished.

At their most base level Humans are social creatures... being around people we like and love is absolutely central to our individual happiness. The killer with depression is that it puts you in the mood not to see anyone which in turn compounds the problem - it's astounding how much just going and hanging out with some friends perks people up. It's true for almost everyone. The last thing you should ever let yourself do is close yourself off to the world.

You can change the chemical and physical makeup of your brain by thinking in the right way. It's possible to train yourself to be happy... but it takes faith and willpower.

The impression that I get from the trick cyclists I know is that anti-depressants are viewed a bit like stabilizers on a bike - they're quite good for stopping you falling over catastrophically for a bit, but you're going to want to learn to stay upright without them fairly soon.

Although I can imagine them being the lesser of two evils in some cases - topping yourself or getting committed would probably affect your creativity too...

People in this thread should check out Passion-flower.

Natural anti-depressant amongst lots of other things. so many natural ways to help the health and functions of the mind. Lot's of Teas to make or natural supplements to add to your diet. Diet is key to a healthy mind but is one of the last things people tend to look at when treating the mind.

The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine or the slowest form of poison.

BNanni wrote:While I'm at my happiest for years, I know that it's not the end of the story.

A lot of us can relate to this i think. I've learnt that when you're at a high point in yourself (subjective and individual to each person) , you need to create 'mind-bookmarks' that you will always 100% remember no matter how you feel. that way you can always reference back to them when you need.

When you feel good,with good Clarity, use that vantage point to write things down that you can remember, or read back when you need to. either on paper, a document on the computer etc....won't always work and won't be the end of the story but it is something i have found helps

like magma said too, you can train your mind to be happy.just takes will power but also self-compassion to see yourself through it all.

positive affirmations are helpful too.

I found that my 'mind-bookmarks' as you put them, are, as I mentioned earlier, my friends and music. I wouldn't be where I am today without the constant support of my friends.
While I may not always talk to them about troubles, knowing they are there with a hug and spliff at the ready when things get shit really gets me through.
Most of those people are ones I've met through the forum. Ninjas really are the best people in the world

BNanni wrote:I found that my 'mind-bookmarks' as you put them, are, as I mentioned earlier, my friends and music. I wouldn't be where I am today without the constant support of my friends.
While I may not always talk to them about troubles, knowing they are there with a hug and spliff at the ready when things get shit really gets me through.
Most of those people are ones I've met through the forum. Ninjas really are the best people in the world