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I just wanted to share that Im on my way to this 10 day meditation retreat, I've never really meditated and Im kinda scared to face whatever I will be facing within myself in the 10 days of absolute silence. I've lived out in the middle of the woods for a very short time and I remember getting to a point where I was on the floor screaming because of the demons I was facing within. I've had a lot of spiritual experiences including seeing a UFO in my room which was basically a huge rock in the shape of a side triangle, it was dark brass and I saw the slit of nothing it slipped into. I've had so many dreams of various types of people telling me I had a dark spirit following me so Im hoping none of that comes through me in this 10 days of silence.

It's surely an interesting read and the retreat is actually all over the world if you want to check it out; https://www.dhamma.org/en/about/code

I arrive on the 4th 11:00 PST. Hopefully this will reconnect me with my core so I can get back to making music consistently, I have lived a brutal life and most people that come from where I do end up crackheads or in a mental institution but I am determined to get a grip and rise above it . I appreciate the community here, musicians/artists are like family to me and I don't have any of family or friends to share this important passage in my life so thank you for taking the time to read this.

Wish me luck
Much love

pussy

My homie did this type of thing.

When he came back from the first one he started writing a book on "raw" eating and diet, he gave us manuscripts of his draft and it was like 300 pages of word soup; barely coherent sentences on topics ranging from topics of government corruption to sexual fetishism. (with some parts about raw eating) at this time we took it for some overly edgy 'art project' (although we'd never known him to be a creative type at all)

He went to another one when he had a complete mental breakdown several months later.
When he came from that he started filing police reports and law suits against against people in our group of friends and their parents for molestation, harassment, and assault charges. (This is against friends and friends of family he's had since he was like 6

One of the last times I seen him it was through a window in the hospital, full strapped down and thrashing about; screaming about people trying to get him etc.

I'm not saying this meditation or whatever really caused this, but he went to the first one a pretty 'normal' guy. He was just interested in trying it. I dont really know what happened to him, but he basically went insane while he was there. If it was some underlying condition or something, who knows. Just imagine ya homie going to a thing like this for a week and coming back a fully different person. Known the guy for time and we always level headed and lackadaisical; def never the paranoid type. He never used any drugs or smoked ganja either.

I've heard of those chambers that you go in for a few hours, an actual retreat sounds like a head fuck in the making imo.

anyway, guess the alias?

used to do 'em
good times
good food
worthwhile outcome

my hint: having compassion for yourself helps have compassion for everything else

dont think this stuff makes people mental, like any scapegoat substance its prob much more to do with the person and whatever theyve got going on deepdown..

I've probably lightly dismissed Degg's concern
yeah, there's a bit of confrontation with psyche involved
and some kids I've taught couldn't even even close their eyes for fear of being with themselves

the whole method
involves practising letting go whatever thoughts/feelings/reactions arise
watching the mind writhe and rationalize under inspection
while continuously returning to the grounding rise and fall of the breath

stuff comes out; ugly, profound, weird, funny, crazy and comforting
all to be acknowledged but none to be clung to

I imagine if somebody had a full-blown psychosis
and kept being absorbed in what their mind threw up,
it could potentially become a traumatic experience.

a good teacher would gently help the sitter disentangle self, watcher & what happens,
maybe by having you do walking mediation which is more outwardly focused,
on letting impressions & sensations pass without attachment

i like turtles

free the turtles
from your favour finj
relax and float downstream

I say
tree the furtles minj

10 days of silent meditation will turn you into nousd

finji you know i have ridden the biggest turtle in the world?

^^not fair to hold out that prospect
but you never know your luck


^doubtlessly on the back of an elephant?

no it was a giant galapagos tortoise in cuba. they gave me a stick with lettuce in front

soiree was into this kind of thing too

he sent me a link to a place in Hawaii hed spent some time apparently

big shouts to soiree, hope hes doing well

me too

Couple sessions of meditation I've done felt peaceful at first, but then started to stir up some murky shit so god knows what 10 days would do. Had the sense of this giant, amorphous blob residing in my psyche, like a hench sewer fatberg.

The few times i've tried proper closed eye meditating after like 10-15 minutes shit gets craaazy like all these colours appear in my mind and my eyes flicker loads which freaks me out so i snap out of it rly quick, then i feel really disorientated for days after.

I bet if i kept going i would ascend to a new plane or summin

This sounds really boring.

yes it does

just smoke loads of DMT