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Paul Bearer and The Undertaker- Not good. Every night you manage to get Taker to swallow some valium and get to sleep that you don't have to fear strangulation while you sleep and then bloody Paul bleeding Bearer gets the urn out and out comes the melodramatic organ playing and endless walking along the washing line again, keeping you up all night before that big business meeting.

On the plus side, you'll never be short of grey leather gloves.

Yokozuna and Mr Fuji- You wake up hungover and go to the kitchen to have a glass of water and a bowl of cereal. You quickly discover that every box of cereal marked 'Rice' in any way has been torn in two and emptied of its contents. Later on that night, you sit down with Earl Hebner to watch The Apprentice. Within seconds, Earl Hebner is distracted by Yokozuna's penis puppetry and Mr Fuji leaps from behind the curtains to blind you with the table salt (there's that bloody table salt!) so they can put on Takeshi's castle for the 500th time that day while you roll around on the carpet with tears streaming down your face.

And then you ask Yokozuna for the TV license money and he just sits on your face, and not in a good way.

Im gonna have to say Ric Flair. The Nature Boy. With a name like that, he's obviously a health nut and would probably be cooking up all kinds of good food, probably keeps a strict workout schedule that he would be more than willing to help you get on, since its always better to work out with someone, and if you ever are late waking up for work he can hit you with a signature "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and get your ass up right quick. The only downside I can see is the oil all over the furniture.

A close second would be the Ultimate Warrior, during the neon days. He doesnt say much and seems like rent would be on time, and if needed, he could give the landlord a good old chop to the neck and thats that.

Legion of Doom for those shoulder pads.

Mae Young. You wake up in the middle of the night with a pair of leathery, wart speckled legs wrapped around your head and Mae's wrinkly old bean halfway up your left nostril. Next thing you know she's giving birth to a hand and trying to marry you. Not Pleasant.

pdomino wrote:Legion of Doom for those shoulder pads.

But they keep taking them off and leaving them on the sofa so you sit on them and spike your testicles, surely?

'Oil on the furniture' lol

Hulk Hogan would always need to borrow a shirt. But whenever everyone is round after a rave completely rinsed he pulls out a big bag of 'vitamins' and hulks up enough to make everyone a cup of tea.

True, they do make a mess. It isnt my testicles Im afraid of getting spiked though.

However the Ultimate Warrior would be handy for moving house, hyper bastard.

Goldberg and Stone Cold Steve Austin (no one would tell the difference and it would properly fuck with burglars' heads)

scotty too hotty so he could teach me the worm.
although id make him shave his head, he looks like a right wasteman with that flava flav shit he used to have going on.

kidlogic wrote:Im gonna have to say Ric Flair. The Nature Boy. With a name like that, he's obviously a health nut and would probably be cooking up all kinds of good food, probably keeps a strict workout schedule that he would be more than willing to help you get on, since its always better to work out with someone, and if you ever are late waking up for work he can hit you with a signature "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and get your ass up right quick. The only downside I can see is the oil all over the furniture.

this is a brilliant answer -- and also my choice.

I've said it before and i'll say it again, Ric Flair was "big pimpin" before anyone else was. He was "bling bling" before anyone knew what "BLING" was.

$5000.00 Oleg Cassini suits.
$10000.00 presidential Rolex watches.
$2000.00 gator shoes.

and that's what he wore to the interviews with Bob Caudle and Tony Schaivone.

His robes were $20000.00 a piece.

Flair for the win.

I'm not shitting on Flair or anything but



Shut ya mout

HACKSAW JIM DOUGAN!!!

you would never be in want of a 2x4 again.

come on guys, are you for fucking real?

it has to be the ultimate warrior.

need picking up from work? safe. let ultimate warrior run all the way home with you in a gorilla press.

if theres any pots need washing- he'll either burn the left over food off with his manic glare, or just smash em up good.

invited a twat round by mistake after a rave? dont worry. old ultey warrior will beat them in any shit talking comp, and if things got out of hand, he could just chuck em through the window.

mrs has left her makeup at home? not a problem. ultimate warriors face paints provide enough slap on to cover a harem of chicks.


not to mention his tassles. boy could he wear tassles well.

KoKo B-Ware...because he had a Parrot and he always looked kinda stoned.
His eyes were always shot man, you know he smoked.

joenice wrote:
I've said it before and i'll say it again, Ric Flair was "big pimpin" before anyone else was. He was "bling bling" before anyone knew what "BLING" was.


Flair for the win.

you forget 'the million dollar man' Ted Dibiase.

man got nuff coinage. that belt he wore was bling x10!
also he would bring plenty of totty for his scruffy and skint dubstep producer flatmate

joenice wrote:

kidlogic wrote:Im gonna have to say Ric Flair. The Nature Boy. With a name like that, he's obviously a health nut and would probably be cooking up all kinds of good food, probably keeps a strict workout schedule that he would be more than willing to help you get on, since its always better to work out with someone, and if you ever are late waking up for work he can hit you with a signature "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" and get your ass up right quick. The only downside I can see is the oil all over the furniture.

this is a brilliant answer -- and also my choice.

I've said it before and i'll say it again, Ric Flair was "big pimpin" before anyone else was. He was "bling bling" before anyone knew what "BLING" was.

$5000.00 Oleg Cassini suits.
$10000.00 presidential Rolex watches.
$2000.00 gator shoes.

and that's what he wore to the interviews with Bob Caudle and Tony Schaivone.

His robes were $20000.00 a piece.

Flair for the win.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Has to be Mr Fuji and Don Muraco.

You get killer comedy, discussion of the issues of the day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teU_ay7PWNk

and the chance of adventure!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLvxOcMyYIk