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elbe
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Snippet News

Post by elbe » Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:11 am

Beep
Good Morning.
Obama remains elected next US president.
The economy remains bad
News stations remain unable to broadcast any new stories

Travel:
Be careful on the roads today as everyone else seems to be at least two of the following:
Rude
Incompetent
Dangerous
Impatient
All should not be allowed on the road. In fact if you are on the road this morning then WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? AREYOU BLIND? DO YOU EVEN NOW HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE? GET OF THE FUCKING ROAD YOU STUPID BITCH/WANKER(delete as appropriate).

Weather
It’s going to be shit today and for foreseeable future

See you tomorrow, possibly if I can mange to drag myself up out of the pit of self-pity that I call my bed and into the drudgery and horror which is apparently my one and only life.
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LEQ
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Post by LEQ » Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:18 am

That's how the news should be.
fou chien wrote:Great Beijing Olympic Games wil fill us all with pride and piss for all planet.And what do you fuk,muk?
-q-
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dubluke
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Post by dubluke » Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:20 am

haha yes everyone on the road is a twat today, was driving round a roundabout this morning, and was going past one of the exits, some CUNTFACE in a BMW wanted to take that exit and rather than wait for me to go past it before turning, he decided to race ahead of me and RAWLY cut me off, going within about 1cm of smacking into me.

also does nobody bother to look before pulling out of junctions anymore, FUCKS SAKE!

what happened with you elbe?
gwa wrote:apparently i fell into the fridge and shouted really loudly 'RIGHT, IM OFF TO GO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME LASS NOW MUM, SHUT YER DOOR'
"ketchup sounds for ketchup people"
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elbe
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Post by elbe » Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:24 am

just getting a bit tired of the daily routine, and trying not to smoke but continuosly failing. :lol:
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dubluke
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Post by dubluke » Thu Nov 06, 2008 9:28 am

eLBe wrote:just getting a bit tired of the daily routine, and trying not to smoke but continuosly failing. :lol:
yeah rush-hour gets a bit crazy as well, good luck with no smoking fam!
gwa wrote:apparently i fell into the fridge and shouted really loudly 'RIGHT, IM OFF TO GO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF ME LASS NOW MUM, SHUT YER DOOR'
"ketchup sounds for ketchup people"
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kins83
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Post by kins83 » Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:49 am

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Yes mate, that's ace. And clear of spelling mistakes too ;)

I wait with baited breath for the next one.
Magma wrote: SNH is a genuinely necessary part of making sure I don't murder everyone in the building whilst muttering Flow Dan lyrics.
badger wrote:The panda's problem isn't man. The panda's problem is that it's utterly shit
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deamonds
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Post by deamonds » Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:53 am

isnt there some sort of financial worry happening at the moment?

i mean i lost a score the other night?? :?
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kins83
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Post by kins83 » Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:55 am

deamonds wrote:isnt there some sort of financial worry happening at the moment?

i mean i lost a score the other night?? :?
I believe that was covered by the in depth report 'the economy remains bad'. :P
Magma wrote: SNH is a genuinely necessary part of making sure I don't murder everyone in the building whilst muttering Flow Dan lyrics.
badger wrote:The panda's problem isn't man. The panda's problem is that it's utterly shit
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elbe
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Post by elbe » Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:56 am

deamonds wrote: i mean i lost a score the other night?? :?
thats local news, we may extend into local news at a later date
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richy_root
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Post by richy_root » Thu Nov 06, 2008 2:41 pm

eLBe wrote:
deamonds wrote: i mean i lost a score the other night?? :?
thats local news, we may extend into local news at a later date
i punctured the back tyre on my bike this morning on the way to work. i was late in any case so this provided the perfect cover story
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elbe
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Post by elbe » Thu Nov 06, 2008 2:48 pm

richy_root wrote:
eLBe wrote:
deamonds wrote: i mean i lost a score the other night?? :?
thats local news, we may extend into local news at a later date
i punctured the back tyre on my bike this morning on the way to work. i was late in any case so this provided the perfect cover story
local travel.
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richy_root
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Post by richy_root » Thu Nov 06, 2008 2:54 pm

eLBe wrote:local travel.
:lol:
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elbe
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Post by elbe » Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:08 pm

Beep

Afternoon Update.


see morning news

goodbye

Beep
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deamonds
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Post by deamonds » Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:11 pm

i thought i was getting some 2night, looks like now im not

health & relationships
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elbe
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Post by elbe » Thu Nov 06, 2008 3:23 pm

beep
And Now for our entertainment news







There is no such fucking thing as entertainment news, entertainment is not news.

beep
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elbe
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Post by elbe » Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:06 am

Beep

Base rate cut by 1.5% population enraged as non tracker mortgages do not act like tracker mortgages.

Shock as BA looses profit at a time of increased fuel costs and tightening consumer spending

big trouble in Africa.


Travel:

other people still can't drive

Weather:
It's Cold

Now for local News:....

Oxfrodshire:
IT@S FRIDAY! Woo!
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LEQ
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Post by LEQ » Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:11 am

Sport.

Harry Redknapp has a knackered face but is a good motivator.
fou chien wrote:Great Beijing Olympic Games wil fill us all with pride and piss for all planet.And what do you fuk,muk?
-q-
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kins83
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Post by kins83 » Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:40 am

lol how can the day of the week be local news!?!? Standards are slipping worse than the beeb, I tell ya.
Magma wrote: SNH is a genuinely necessary part of making sure I don't murder everyone in the building whilst muttering Flow Dan lyrics.
badger wrote:The panda's problem isn't man. The panda's problem is that it's utterly shit
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elbe
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Post by elbe » Fri Nov 07, 2008 9:46 am

kins83 wrote:lol how can the day of the week be local news!?!? Standards are slipping worse than the beeb, I tell ya.
:lol:

I was hoping it would be followed by a mass of responses all saying the same thing, still give it time.

And Snippit News Standards never slip, the can't slip because they don't exist. :wink:
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legend4ry
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Post by legend4ry » Fri Nov 07, 2008 10:26 am

Local stock exchange

Me: down 200

Bank: Up 200
Soulstep wrote: My point is i just wanna hear more vibes
Soundcloud
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