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How do you stop a Rhino from Charging?
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:18 am
by deamonds
Unplug Him
*Coat falls into my hands as i make a swift exit for the door all in 1 motion*
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:22 am
by LEQ
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:23 am
by deamonds
what do you call a lesbo dinasour?
lickalotapus
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:25 am
by LEQ
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a plate?
A tyrannosaucer.
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:29 am
by deamonds
"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
"Well you can't say fairer than that then"
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:32 am
by LEQ
I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on...
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:32 am
by kins83
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A do-you-think-he-saw-us.
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:37 am
by LEQ
fancied a game of darts with my mate.
He said, "Nearest the bull goes first"
He went "Baah" and I went "Moo"
He said "You're closest'.
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:39 am
by elbe
why did the orange stop rolling?
...because it realised that it had no fingers to roll with, or mouth and lungs to smoke with if by some miracle it did manage to roll, or any form of brain or central nervous system in order to start the thought process of rolling let alone get some kind of enjoyment out the effects of smoking if it did somehow manage to roll and smoke.
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:49 am
by deamonds
- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
- An Irish burglar.
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:49 am
by ^btxl
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:56 am
by LEQ
Man out walking two dogs. A woman says to him, "Are they Jack Russells?"
The man replies, "No, they're mine"
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:58 am
by deamonds
a lobster walks into a bar, the bartender tells him straight away to do 1...
the crab sitting there says, "wah b, homie?"
tender says "well, he was giving it all that (lobster hand motion) wernt he!!"
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 10:59 am
by LEQ
What do you call 100 nuns in a shop?
Virgin megastore
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:08 am
by deamonds
whats pink & fluffy? pink fluff
blue & fluffy?
pink fluff holding its breath
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:18 pm
by BLZDub
What's blue and fucks old people?
hypothermia
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:33 pm
by bagelator
what do you call a man with 100 rabbits up his arse.
warren
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:35 pm
by BLZDub
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 10 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:41 pm
by pdomino
All Boomnoise asked for was a little good-night kiss, but Mary Ann haughtily rebuffed him with, "I don't do that sort of thing on my first date!"
"Well," Boomy replied with sarcasm, "how about on your last date?"
Posted: Thu Nov 06, 2008 12:49 pm
by LEQ
How many surrealists does it take to change a light-bulb?
A Fish.
How do you make anti-freeze?
Take away her blanket.