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Fuck My Life :(
Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 11:21 pm
by 8bit
Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 11:33 pm
by djelements
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2009 11:56 pm
by 8bit
Today, I took my friend to buy a pregancy test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive. FML
Today, I found out my teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who people were. By mistake the descriptions appeared on the computer projector. Next to my name it said "Tubby". FML
merked
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 2:15 am
by echo wanderer
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
ROFLMAO!!!
Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:12 am
by firky
Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:08 am
by DZA
Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:15 am
by firky
I wonder if I should post the one about drunkenly phoning my ex to declare that I still love her, just to gind out i had dialled my then current g.f:
"AHHHHHH still love, eee, pet, you're proper lush man, i should never have dumped ya helen"
"this is naomi"
fuck socks
Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:18 am
by DZA
Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 5:20 am
by firky
She never saw the funny side. Miserable git
Posted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 11:58 pm
by 8bit
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finished she proceeded to tell me she already had a boyfriend and that his penis was larger then mine. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:12 am
by drksteppa
" Today, my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time. When I was on top of her, she asked me if it was in yet. I said yes. She sighed. FML"
ROFL
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 7:57 am
by gars
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!"
lolz
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:27 pm
by ytee
Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 1:00 pm
by legend4ry
Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML
Poor kid hahaha
This sites gold.
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 1:10 pm
by diss04
lol
this website is actually lol worthy
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 4:40 pm
by dubloke
gars wrote:Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!"
lolz
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 4:46 pm
by BLZDub
This site is great.
Doing the office rounds all day.
Favourite so far - Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:22 pm
by somejerk
that site is awesome! i can spend hours reading about how shitty everyone else's lives are hahahahahahahahaha.
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:31 pm
by j-sh
Today, my friends and I decided that we were going to make fun of our teacher by laughing as hard as we could at the first thing he said because he was always cracking horrible jokes. He walked in and told us his father had just passed. I was the only one to laugh. FML
Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 8:42 pm
by Pallms
some of these are ace
