TELL ME A JOKE

stenchman · Post by **stenchman** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:26 pm

in a bad mood. need to cheer up. tell me a joke. make me laugh and ill pm u a dub.

8bit · Post by **8bit** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:31 pm

A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.

The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

Is it........

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush

Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."

"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...

No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.

Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."

(ringing)

Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."

Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.

The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.

There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."

Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush"

Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."

Barbara: "You think?"

Maggie: "I'm sure."

Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."

(clapping)

That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?

Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."

stenchman · Post by **stenchman** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:35 pm

didnt make me laugh, the preposterous proposition of a blonde even getting to the last question on millionaire ruined it.

8bit · Post by **8bit** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:38 pm

ZORSZ · Post by **ZORSZ** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:45 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o50_ZlMnjqY

always makes me happy when "im feeling down"

djelements · Post by **djelements** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:47 pm

ytee · Post by **ytee** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:49 pm

What did the latina maid say when she was raped?

Not much, she spoke limited english and had an expired work visa.

what's black, white, red all over and can't fit in an elevator?

A hun with a spear through her head.

cyberneticghost · Post by **cyberneticghost** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:56 pm

compilation of the funny Moonanite shit on Aqua Teen Hunger Force:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PfsJCIl9yA

-dubson- · Post by **-dubson-** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 10:57 pm

haven't got any jokes

but got a pic

-dubson- · Post by **-dubson-** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:03 pm

oh and some stenchman jokes

Guns don't kill people. Stenchman kills People.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Stenchman allows to live.

Stenchman does not sleep. He waits.

Stenchman has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

The leading causes of death in the UK are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Stenchman 3. Cancer.

Stenchman drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Stenchman doesn't go hunting.... STENCHMAN GOES KILLING.

Stenchman uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Stenchman out. It failed miserably.

ZORSZ · Post by **ZORSZ** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:10 pm

-Dubson- wrote:The leading causes of death in the UK are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.

you forgot to edit this one..
hm whatever

deamonds · Post by **deamonds** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:10 pm

how did the girl know her mum was on the rag?

her brothers cock tasted funny

youve prolly heard that, havent got many new 1s

-dubson- · Post by **-dubson-** » Fri Feb 27, 2009 11:12 pm

4AM wrote:
-Dubson- wrote:The leading causes of death in the UK are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
you forgot to edit this one..
hm whatever

ahh crap

reason · Post by **reason** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:49 am

A blond and her boyfriend are having dinner and the boyfriend says "Did you hear about the 12 Brazillion men who died an a skydiving accident?" She says, "No, that's awful!" "Well, they knew they were taking a risk skydiving," he responded. After a moment in thought the blond says, "I just have one question, how many is a brazillion anyway?"

firky · Post by **firky** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 12:52 am

whats the only animal with a tnuc on its back?

police horse

ytee · Post by **ytee** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 1:23 am

Sweet, new dub...thanks stench. see you soon@!

q_steppa · Post by **q_steppa** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:17 am

ok, christmas day and the royal family are bored, so camilla says lets play 20 questions. wat shes thinking of is a black mans cock.

so prince charles ask's "can it fit in the breadbin?" and camilla says yes.

princess diane ask's "can i put it in my mouth?" and camilla says yes

so the queen says "is it a black mans cock?"

steppo · Post by **steppo** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 2:26 am

whats the difference between 500 dead babies and a ferrari

i dont have a ferrari in my garage

yong · Post by **yong** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:00 am

Women's rights.

jk of course

hackman · Post by **hackman** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:37 am

theres a family of a dad, mum, and 4 year old son
the mum goes off on a business trip, telling the dad to make sure their son gets a bath every night
so the next evening, he tells his son to take a bath
the kid replies "but im scared, will you come in with me?"
so he agrees, and gets in the bath as well
the kid sees his dick and asks "whats that"
"oh thats just my pet snake herbie"
they both then go to bed
the dad wakes up in hospital with his son at his bedside
"how did i get here?" he asks
the kid replies "well i couldnt sleep in the night, so i started to play with herbie, but he spat at me so i bit his head off"

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